Reflections in San Pedro, Guatemala
I feel the need to write but I’m lacking. It’s not words, but more of subject matter. Ideas, thoughts, and memories are racing through my head, but how to organize them is where I’m falling short. I feel like my life is moving faster than it ever has before, but I feel calm as I sit here as a participant of it unfolding. All the while I simply try not to try too hard.
I’ve been using the running joke that I have a plane ticket to cancel in the next 5 days, but the truth of it as it sits now is that I will be on that plane. I will say goodbye to all that has been important to me over the past 7 weeks and move forward from here. My friends, my home, and what I have defined as my life for the past duration will be just a memory that I recall on days for no reason at all when I need to go back to San Pedro, Guatemala.
I’m going to miss the sensory that I try not to take for granted here. I’m going to miss the sounds of avocados falling around my tent and the birds that chirp in the distant background. I’ll miss the feeling of sunshine as I lay in my hammock writing or the lakeside wind that reminds me of free falling. I’m sure it will be a long time before I taste Oaxacan cheese, and I’ll think about that every time I have to pay more than 3Q for a taco.
I’ve also made a lot of really solid friends that I will forever be grateful for. I swear one of these days I’ll see them all again, and I feel that with each person I connect with, my world gets a bit smaller. I’d like to romanticize that the afterlife is like a giant family reunion where I get to spend the rest of eternity with those that I love. That may not be the case but it won’t hurt to dedicate a life to that notion and try to hold on to those that matter.
When I step off the plane in Detroit, Michigan to most people my “trip” will be over. For me it’ll be a few steps closer to the end, but I hope not too close. What started as an uncertain adventure for the weekend turned out to be way more than I bargained for as my brain races to sort all of this new information. To fully understand it all may take a bit of that stuff we call “time,” but I am for certain I’m only seeing the tip of the iceberg of what I’ve learned since leaving.
I found myself going through several shifts over the past 5 months. With each one a new set of challenges were brought forth and a new way to approach them. It was like a series of tests laid out that had relevance to the situation happening at the time, but more important to understanding of the bigger picture. I’m excited to see how this information will be used as I bobble through life trying to figure it out.
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